Ah the good old birthday party. A celebration of the birthday boy or girl, and an opportunity to get friends and family together to enjoy themselves and make the person in question feel special.
Of course, any gathering of people like this is also the perfect opportunity to try out your best birthday themed Dad jokes! Use them to embarrass your kids in front of their friends, use them to make your wife want to leave you, use them to make your extended family wonder why they invited you – however you use them, just make sure you use a lot of them.
To that end, here are some of the best birthday dad jokes I know, the corniest, the cringiest, and the most eye-roll-inducing. Remember, laughter is the greatest gift you can give, so do not use them sparingly!
Best Birthday Dad Jokes
What are birthdays good for your health?
Studies show people who have more birthdays live longer.
What did the cake say to the fork?
You take the cake.
Why did we skip putting candles on the birthday cake?
Because at your age, the number of candles is a fire hazard.
Why couldn’t the pony sing “Happy Birthday”?
He was feeling a little hoarse.
How do you organize a birthday party in space?
You planet.
Why do mushrooms get invited to all the birthday parties?
They’re such fungis.
What’s the best birthday present you can give?
A broken drum—you just can’t beat it.
How do you say happy birthday to a rabbit?
“Have a hoppy birthday!”
Why don’t skeletons have birthday parties?
Because they have no-body to celebrate with.
What did the dog say on his friend’s birthday?
I love you, fur real.
What did the koala bear say to his wife on her birthday?
Let’s spend some koala-ty time together.
Why do we say “age is just a number”?
Because at our age, we can’t remember the actual number.
What did the corn say when his friend wished him a happy birthday?
Aw, shucks.
What did the ocean say to the birthday girl?
Nothing—it just waved.
Where can you find the best birthday present ideas for cats?
In cat-alogues, obviously.
Why didn’t the teddy bear have any birthday cake?
He was already stuffed.
Why was the calculus book sad on its birthday?
It had too many problems.
Why did the scarecrow have a great birthday?
Someone told him he was outstanding in his field.
Why do we put candles on top of the birthday cake?
Well, you can’t put them on the bottom.
What did the pirate say at his 80th birthday party?
Aye-matey!
Why was the pig hard at work on his birthday?
He was bacon himself a cake.
How do you say happy birthday to a frog?
“Hope your birthday is toad-ally awesome!”
I’m not saying you’re old…
but your candles cost more than your cake.
What do you say to a bee on its birthday?
“Hap-bee birthday!”
What did the birthday card say to the stamp?
“Stick with me, and we’ll go far.”
Why was the birthday cake crying?
It felt crumb-y about getting older.
Why doesn’t Taylor Swift stress about getting older?
Because she can just “Shake it Off.”
What did the cake say to the birthday boy?
“You want a piece of me?!”
How do you say happy birthday to a fish?
“Hope you have a fin-tastic birthday!”
Grandparents are the best at birthdays?
They have the most experience.
What’s the most important part of a cat’s birthday party?
The mew-sic.
What kind of music do birthday balloons hate?
Pop music.
What did the snake say to her boyfriend on his birthday?
“Here’s a birthday hug and hiss.”
How do trees wish each other a happy birthday?
“Hope your birthday is tree-mendous!”
Why didn’t the bicycle go to the birthday party?
It was two tired.
How did the rabbits get to the birthday party?
By hareplane.
The chicken couldn’t wait for its birthday party.
It was so egg-cited.
Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his birthday cake?
He was being shellfish.
How can you tell if a birthday cake is sad?
See if it’s in tiers.
Everyone enjoyed the birthday cake…
even the computer had a byte.
What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he missed his friend’s birthday?
“Oh, snap!”
What kind of birthday cake should you get for a ghost?
I scream cake.
What did one pickle say to the other on its birthday?
“You mean a great dill to me.”
Why did the man only celebrate his birthday for 30 seconds?
It was his 32nd birthday.
Two candles on a birthday cake. One says to the other:
“Don’t birthdays just burn you out?”
How did the pickle enjoy his birthday?
He relished every moment.