If you’re a dad in London, there’s a fair chance your adult social life looks something like this: a quick chat at the school gates, the odd birthday party small talk, maybe a five-a-side group that hasn’t actually played since 2022.
It happens quietly. You’re busy. Everyone’s busy. Before you know it, the only men you regularly speak to are colleagues on Zoom and the other dad who also forgot it was non-uniform day.
Shoulder to Shoulder is a London-based men’s community that’s trying to make that whole situation a bit less common. Not with therapy circles. Not with motivational speeches. Just with regular, in-person meetups for men.
Here’s what it actually is, how it works, and what it means for dads specifically.
What Shoulder To Shoulder Is
Shoulder to Shoulder is a London-based men’s community founded by Tom Stroud and Dan Shrigley. It’s set up as a private limited company and runs in-person social events across the capital.
The focus is simple: getting men together in real life to build genuine friendships.
It’s not:
- A therapy group
- A charity service
- A formal mental health programme
- A dads-only support circle
- A business networking club
It’s a social community for men who want to meet other men, regularly, in person.
That clarity is important. If you’re looking for structured parenting advice or counselling, this isn’t that. If you’re looking for adult male connection outside of work and family, this might be closer to the mark.
How You Join
Joining is straightforward.
You go to the Shoulder to Shoulder website and use the WhatsApp invite link. Once you’re in, you’ll see details of upcoming events and can decide which ones you want to attend.
There’s no complicated application process. No long forms. No interviews.
For a busy dad, that matters. If something takes more than five minutes to join, it often ends up on the “I’ll sort that later” pile.
What The Meetups Look Like
Shoulder to Shoulder runs activity-based social events rather than formal sit-down sessions.
Typical events include:
- Coffee meetups and walks
- Group meals, like curry nights
- Activity days such as paintball
- Cinema trips or similar evenings out
The idea is simple. Shared activity makes conversation easier. You’re not sitting in a circle being asked to introduce yourself and share your life story. You’re walking, eating, or doing something alongside other men.
That “shoulder to shoulder” element is part of the concept. Conversation tends to flow more naturally when there’s something happening around it.
For dads who haven’t been to anything like this before, that can make the first event feel far less intense.
What It Feels Like In Practice
There’s no formal structure once you arrive. You turn up. You meet the other men who’ve come along. You take part in whatever the event is.
Nobody is there with a clipboard. There aren’t scheduled speaking slots. There’s no expectation that you’ll share anything you don’t want to.
Conversations might stay light. They might go deeper. That depends entirely on the mix of people there and how the evening unfolds.
It’s worth saying clearly: this isn’t therapy. It’s social.
If you’re the kind of dad who prefers to ease into things rather than dive straight into heavy discussions, that format tends to suit.
What Kind of Men Will be There?
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Shoulder to Shoulder is for adult men generally, not specifically for fathers.
You’re likely to meet a mix of:
- Dads with young kids
- Men without children
- Married men
- Single men
- People who’ve lived in London for years
- People who’ve just moved to the city
It’s a broad church. That can actually be a strength. It means conversations aren’t limited to school runs and sleep regressions.
At the same time, if you are a dad, you won’t be the only one. Modern fatherhood is common ground for plenty of men in London.
Time Commitment
There’s no requirement to attend every event. You don’t sign up to a fixed rota.
You join the WhatsApp group, look at what’s happening, and choose what works for you.
That flexibility is helpful when you’ve got bedtime routines, weekend fixtures and family commitments that don’t always run smoothly.
That said, like any community, the more consistently you attend, the more likely you are to build proper connections. One-off visits can feel surface-level. Familiar faces change that.
What Makes It Different From Just “Going Out More”
You could, in theory, message a few mates and organise something yourself. Many of us mean to do exactly that.
The difference here is structure.
- The events are already planned.
- The group already exists.
- You don’t have to be the organiser.
That reduces friction. And friction is often the reason adult social plans never happen.
Instead of “We should sort something,” you have a date, a location and a group already in place.
A Final Practical Thought
Fatherhood takes up a lot of space. That’s part of the job, and most of us wouldn’t change it.
But being a present dad doesn’t mean stepping away from adult friendship altogether.
Shoulder to Shoulder is one way of building that back into your routine. It’s straightforward, in-person, and built around shared activity rather than heavy structure.
If you’re weighing it up, the only real way to know whether it suits you is to attend once and see how it feels.
Sometimes that first step is the only one that requires real effort.