When my partner and I welcomed our second child into the world, we knew it was time to take an important step in securing our family’s future – making a will. As an unmarried couple, we felt this was especially salient to protect our children and ensure our wishes would be honoured if the unthinkable were to happen.
I’ll admit, the thought of creating a will initially seemed a bit morbid. But once we went through the process, I realised how empowering and reassuring it can be. That’s why I’m sharing my experience and insights to encourage other parents, especially dads, to take this vital step.
Let’s demystify wills and explore why they’re so crucial when you have young children.
Why Making a Will is Essential for Parents
As a parent, making a will is one of the most important things you can do to protect your family. Here’s why:
Securing Your Children’s Future
When you have young children, a will becomes more than just a document about your assets. It’s a roadmap for your children’s care and future if you’re no longer around. Without a will, you leave crucial decisions about your children’s upbringing to chance – or worse, to the courts.
Appointing Guardians
One of the most critical aspects of a will for parents is the ability to appoint guardians for your children. This ensures that if both parents pass away, your children will be cared for by someone you trust and who shares your values. Without this provision, the decision could be left to the courts, which might not align with your wishes.
Financial Protection
A will allows you to specify how your assets should be distributed, ensuring your children are financially provided for in the way you intend. This is particularly important if you’re not married, as your partner may not automatically inherit your estate without a will in place.
Peace of Mind
Creating a will gives you peace of mind, knowing you’ve taken steps to protect your family’s future. It’s a responsible act of love that ensures your children will be cared for according to your wishes, even if you’re not there to guide them yourself.
Understanding the Basics
Before diving into the specifics of creating a will as a parent, it’s helpful to understand some basics
A will is a legal document that outlines your wishes for the distribution of your assets after your death. It can also include instructions for the care of your children and any other specific requests you may have.
In the UK, anyone over the age of 18 can make a will, provided they have the mental capacity to understand what they’re doing. You don’t need to own property or have significant assets to create a will – it’s about planning for the future, whatever that may hold.
If you die without a valid will in place, you’re considered to have died ‘intestate’. This means your estate will be distributed according to intestacy rules, which may not align with your wishes. For parents, this can have serious implications for both your partner and your children.
Key Components of a Will
When creating a will, especially as a parent, there are several key components to consider.
Appointing Guardians
This is perhaps the most crucial element for parents. You can name one or more guardians who would be responsible for your children’s care if both parents were to pass away. It’s wise to discuss this with your chosen guardians beforehand and to name alternates in case your first choice is unable to take on the role.
Naming Executors
Executors are responsible for carrying out the instructions in your will. As a parent, it’s important to choose someone you trust completely, as they’ll be managing your estate for the benefit of your children.
Distributing Assets
You’ll need to specify how you want your assets distributed. This might include setting up trusts for your children, which can protect their inheritance until they reach a certain age.
Specific Bequests
You may want to leave specific items or amounts to certain people or charities. This is your chance to ensure sentimental items are passed down as you wish.
Things Unmarried Parents Should Know
As an unmarried parent myself, I can’t stress enough how crucial it is to have a will in place.
Without a will, your partner may not be legally recognised as having any rights to your estate, regardless of how long you’ve been together or whether you have children.
Having a will ensures your partner can continue to live in your shared home and have access to finances to care for your children.
Clear instructions in a will can also prevent potential disputes between your partner and other family members over your estate and the care of your children.
On top of that, unmarried partners don’t benefit from the same inheritance tax exemptions as married couples. A well-crafted will can help mitigate potential tax burdens on your estate.
Setting Up Trusts for Children
One aspect of will-making that I found particularly useful was the option to set up trusts for our children.
A trust is a legal arrangement where assets are held by one party (the trustee) for the benefit of another (the beneficiary). In the context of a will, this often means setting aside money or property for your children until they reach a certain age.
There are various types of trusts, including bare trusts, discretionary trusts, and life interest trusts. Each has different implications for how and when your children can access their inheritance.
Trusts can protect your children’s inheritance until they’re old enough to manage it responsibly. They can also provide tax benefits and offer flexibility in how the assets are used for your children’s benefit.
Selecting trustees is a crucial decision. These individuals will manage the trust assets for your children’s benefit, so choose people you trust implicitly to act in your children’s best interests.
Updating Your Will
Creating a will isn’t a one-time task. Sorry about that. Life changes, and your will should reflect these changes, but it shouldn’t need to happen often.
A few examples of when you might want to revisit include:
- Major Life Events – Marriage, divorce, the birth of additional children, or significant changes in your financial situation are all reasons to review and potentially update your will.
- Regular Reviews – Even without major life changes, it’s wise to review your will every 3-5 years to ensure it still reflects your wishes and current circumstances.
- Changes in Legislation – Tax laws and other legislation relevant to wills and inheritance can change. Keeping abreast of these changes and updating your will accordingly is important.
- Changing Guardians or Executors – If your chosen guardians or executors are no longer suitable or available, you’ll need to update your will to reflect new choices.
The Will Making Process
Start by gathering information and listing your assets, debts, and beneficiaries. Think about who you want to name as guardians and executors.
While it’s possible to write a will yourself, I highly recommend seeking professional legal advice, especially when children are involved. A solicitor can ensure your will is legally valid and covers all necessary aspects. These do it yourself options from WH Smith aren’t necessarily legally binding, especially if you make a mistake.
Your solicitor will draft the will based on your instructions. Review it carefully to ensure it accurately reflects your wishes.
For a will to be legally valid in the UK, it must be signed by you and witnessed by two independent adults who are not beneficiaries.
Once it’s done, you need to think about safe storage. Keep your will in a safe place and inform your executors of its location. Many solicitors offer will storage services.
The whole process can take a couple of weeks from start to finish.
The Cost
One concern many parents have is the cost of making a will. While it’s not free, it doesn’t have to be expensive either.
The cost of making a will can vary widely depending on its complexity and whether you use a solicitor. Simple wills can start from around £150, while more complex arrangements may cost £500 or more.
While there are DIY will kits available for as little a £10, I want to re-emphasize that I wouldn’t recommend these for parents. The potential for errors that could invalidate your will or cause problems for your family is too high.
Consider the cost of a will as an investment in your family’s future. The peace of mind and protection it provides far outweigh the initial expense.
Free Will Services
Some charities offer free will-writing services in exchange for a donation or bequest. These can be a good option if cost is a concern, but ensure the service is provided by qualified professionals.
It’s still not free, but it’s often much cheaper. Charities like Will Aid are worth looking into.