There’s nothing quite like the feeling of finally getting your child into bed at the end of the day. The quiet. The freedom. The possibility—however slim—of watching TV at a volume you can actually hear.
And then you hear it: the creak of the stairs. The soft patter of feet. The door slowly opening. A small voice: “Dad… I’m not tired.”
Whether it’s bedtime resistance, middle-of-the-night cameos, or absurdly early wake-ups that make the milkman look like a lie-in merchant, kids who won’t stay in bed are a rite of passage most parents would happily skip.
If you’re in the thick of it, here’s a guide that’s honest, practical, and doesn’t require you to re-mortgage the house for an army of white noise machines that also sings lullabies in six languages.
The Immediate Bedtime Reappearance
You tuck them in. You read the book. You stroke their head like a wizard casting a sleep spell. And just as you sit down with a cup of tea… they’re back.
This is peak “I need a drink / another hug / a different blanket / to tell you a thing I just remembered from nursery last year” territory.
Here’s why it happens:
- Separation anxiety – a fancy phrase for not liking the idea of being away from you.
- Overtiredness – yes, being too tired makes them too wired to sleep. Kid science is as baffling as it is frustrating.
- FOMO – they suspect you’re watching Disney+ and eating biscuits without them. They’re probably right.
What You Can Do
First, it really helps to have a consistent wind-down routine. The more predictable the sequence—bath, pyjamas, story, bed—the more their body and brain start to recognise that it’s time to switch off. It may feel repetitive, but in parenting, repetitive is often code for “effective.”
When they inevitably reappear, try the “return without a fuss” method. Keep it calm and boring—no lectures, no cuddly negotiations. Just a simple “Back to bed now,” and guide them there with minimal interaction. It might take a few nights (or weeks), but eventually they get the message that night-time isn’t performance hour.
A child-friendly sleep clock can work wonders, especially one with colours they understand. You set it to change when it’s okay to get up, and refer back to it like it’s a legally binding contract. You may need to back this up with the patience of a saint, but it does work. We have one with an Owl that turns yellow and flaps its wings at 7am. Works like a charm. Usually.
If they say they’re scared, take it seriously, but don’t let it become a full-blown ghost hunt. A little monster spray (a spray bottle of water with a funny label) can help them feel in control. You don’t have to believe in monsters—but you do have to outwit them.
The 2am Dream Crasher
You’re asleep. Dreaming of something blissfully child-free. Then… breathing. Right next to your face. And a whisper: “I need to wee.”
Welcome to the midnight shuffle—where sleep is a relay race, and you’re never quite sure who’s winning. But you are sure they walked past the toilet to get to your bedroom.
Here’s why it happens:
- Toileting needs (sometimes genuine, sometimes not)
- Nightmares or night terrors
- The world’s worst timing for philosophical questions
What You Can Do
Start by making sure they’ve had that “last wee” before bed, even if they claim they don’t need it. Most do. And if the dark is an issue, a low nightlight in the hallway or bathroom can give them the confidence to go without calling you in like a bodyguard.
If it’s nightmares, keep your reassurance short and steady. A calm voice, a quick cuddle, and a return to bed sends the message that yes, you care—but no, it’s not playtime. Resist the urge to start a conversation, however cute their sleepy voice might be.
For repeat interruptions, a basic reward chart can help. Five nights of staying in their own bed might earn a special breakfast, a sticker, or a weekend treat. You don’t need gold stars—just something they care about and can aim for.
And let’s be honest: sometimes, nothing works in the moment. There’s a stretch between 2:30am and 4am when they’ll only sleep if they’re on you like a hot water bottle with elbows. It’s not ideal, but if it gets you all back to sleep faster, go with it. Parenting is about the long game—and sometimes, the least bad option is the best one.
The Human Alarm Clock
There’s early. Then there’s early. The kind where it’s still dark outside, the heating hasn’t kicked in yet, and you’re unsure if it’s morning or some sort of parental purgatory.
If your child is consistently up at 5am (or earlier), you have my deepest sympathy. And possibly a clone of my first born. My God that child woke up early.
Here’s why it happens:
- Overtiredness – again. Yep, it strikes here too)
- Too much light – gaps around the curtains or under the door letting light in the room
- Hunger – small people burn through energy like they’re training for a marathon
What You Can Do
It might sound counterintuitive, but try putting them to bed earlier. Children who are overtired tend to wake earlier and sleep more poorly. Just a 15-minute shift can make a surprising difference—if nothing else, it’s worth experimenting with over a week or two.
If light is sneaking in early, blackout blinds are your best friend. Not “it looks darker” curtains—proper blackout. You want their room to feel like a cave. Light tells their brain it’s morning, and their brain tells them it’s time to start talking about Lego.
You can also try a “morning box”—a stash of books, toys, or quiet puzzles they’re only allowed to touch once it’s a certain time (ideally when their clock turns green, or your coffee has kicked in). This gives them something to do without needing you straight away.
And yes, I once created a “breakfast station” with dry cereal and a drink they could access on their own. It bought me almost 45 extra minutes in bed. Desperate? Maybe. Effective? Absolutely.
It Gets Better
Sleep disruption is one of the most exhausting parts of parenting—and not because it’s rare, but because it’s constant. It grinds you down in small, tired increments. The brain fog. The broken nights. The déjà vu of the same battle, night after night.
But here’s the good news: it does get better. Bit by bit, they learn. And in the meantime, you’ll learn more about your own resilience, creativity, and ability to make complex breakfast decisions while hallucinating from tiredness. But you will still accidentally pour boiling water on your cereal.
You’re not alone. You’re not failing. You’re just in the phase of parenting where no one stays in bed—including you. But eventually, they will. And you’ll look back and laugh… probably around 10am, after a full night’s sleep.