You’ve got to be careful with football Dad jokes. You don’t want to tell them in a rowdy pub during the match, for example. But if you’re in the terraces with the kids it’s game on. If you’re grabbing a snack on the way to the stadium, then the person on the till is fair game. And if you’re there with another pun loving Dad you can definitely let your football Dad jokes free.
Football has always been a sport which fans approach with humour, you only have to listen to some of the chants to understand that. Football Dad jokes take a slightly different approach though, and it’s a tricky balance to get right. You need them to be PG, but just witty enough to catch someone off guard and make them raise a smile in spite of themselves.
This list of football themed Dad jokes should be real match winners.
Best Football Dad Jokes
What did the naughty football announcer get for Christmas?
COOOOAAAALLLL!!!!!
Why can’t Cinderella play football?
Because she always runs away from the ball.
What kind of tea do football players drink?
Penal-tea.
My boyfriend made a save in a game of football.
That’s how I knew he was a keeper.
What is it called when a dinosaur scores a goal?
A dino-score.
Where do football players go to dance?
The Futball.
What happened to the football’s ego?
It got inflated.
The man who invented football loved boasting about it at parties.
He really got a kick out of it.
Why did the manager bring a pencil and paper to the match?
He wanted to draw.
Who is a farmer’s favourite football player?
Gareth Bale.
Which position does a ghost always play?
Ghoul-keeper.
Which farm animal is the best football player?
The GOAT.
I knew a footballer who was also a magician,
He always got a hat-trick.
Why don’t chickens play football?
Too many fowls
Which player in a football team always carries a rope?
The skipper.
I love West Ham, also known as the Hammers.
They’ve really nailed their formation.
How do football players stay cool during matches?
They stand near the fans…
What did the football coach do when the pitch was flooded?
He sent on his subs.
What do you call a person from USA in the World Cup final?
The referee.
Why did the football player hold a boot up to his ear?
Because he liked sole music.
How did the football pitch end up as a triangle?
Somebody took a corner.
Why kind of dogs don’t play football?
Boxers.
What’s a football fan’s favourite fish?
Goal-dfish.
What football team do sheep suport?
Baa-rcelona.
Why don’t grasshoppers watch football?
They prefer cricket.
The goal keeper couldn’t save corners or get reception on his TV.
He had aerial problems.
Which football league do cats play in?
The Purr-mier League.
Which football team loves ice cream?
Aston Vanilla