As a dad of three and with over ten years’ parenting experience, I have a huge collection of drawings of myself. That may sound really narcissistic, but it’s not meant to.
I treasure these works of art because my children produced them especially for me. That said, I do sometimes wonder whether they’re gently taking the piss out of me as well as showing love.
Here, then, are a few times my kids have parodied me via the medium of art.
Rasputin in Slytherin (2021)
I was unwell recently and had to stay in bed for a couple of hours. Youngest drew me this card. Naturally, I was delighted by her thoughtfulness. It genuinely made me feel better.
But, looking at it again, there’s a strong resemblance to Rasputin. Not only that, but the jumper I’m wearing looks like Slytherin casual wear. Disgraceful, considering I was the only family member to get Gryffindor in an online sorting hat quiz.
You’ve been Tango’d (2017)
Remember the Tango ads in the early 1990s? Specifically, the one featuring Napoleon with a massive orange hand? This is like déjà vu! Somewhat oddly, I also appear to be dressed as Pee-wee Herman – a visual nod to my silly raucous voice, perhaps?
The redeeming feature is that I’m holding an arrogantly large glass of wine as opposed to thrusting my orange hand into an unwitting victim’s face. That’s a hit of whole fruit I can definitely get behind.
A hairy moment (2015)
I’m not sure whether the furry bits are my hair and beard, my hair and mouth, or possibly just Frank Zappa’s facial hair ensemble with eyes. Also, I don’t understand why this image of me is literally served up on a plate.
Whatever the answers to these questions, I look like a slightly unhinged caveman. At the time, I was both hirsute and massively stressed so maybe laddo had a point.
The Birdman of Waitrose (2015)
First things first, we’ve never been able to afford to shop for anything other than odds and ends at Waitrose. We must have popped in once or twice on the way to my parents’ house. I’m also unsure of both why I’m part-bird and, indeed, perched on the roof.
Maybe I’m supposed to be some strange kind of Batman-like vigilante staging a protest concerning the spiraling price of capers and lemongrass. And that would be a logical course of action.
All joking aside, I adore all of these drawings as well as the sentiments behind them and am keeping them forever.
Have your kids ever parodied you via the medium of art?