Five grown-up phrases my toddler uses

It’s always funny, if sometimes a little cringe-worthy, to hear your own words uttered by a toddler. Since cracking the whole stringing sentences together lark, youngest has come out with some corkers. Particularly recently.

Of course, she mostly says the kind of things you’d expect from a three-year-old. For example, we still haven’t had the heart to tell her that the multigrain hoops she has for breakfast aren’t called “popcorns”. Similarly, she adds an erroneous “one” after using “another” so is always asking for “another one biscuit”.

And, naturally, she still speaks about herself in the third person now and then too.

Our reasoning for not correcting her is that it makes it funnier when she says something way beyond her years. Top parenting, I’m sure you’ll agree.

Here are some of the grown-up phrases she uses.

Frankly

With our house on the market and a viewing imminent, we were frantically tidying up yesterday. And by “tidying up”, I mean putting a load of clutter in the biggest box I could find and hiding it in the loft.

“Look at that box! That’s frankly huge, Daddy!” she said. Luckily, I was about to climb the ladder rather than halfway up it. I think I would have fallen off otherwise

Good boy!

Even though it can sound rather patronising coming from a toddler, I quite like this one. It’s nice for the self-esteem to be congratulated for the most basic things. Especially at this time of year.

She must have seen me telling one of her brothers they had done well for not peeing on the floor, as she commended me for as much the other day.

I suspect

No, we haven’t introduced her to Cluedo yet. She doesn’t use it in a fully correct context but brings it into play while thinking about what she’s saying as she says it. So basically as a form of verbal diarrhoea.

“I suspect that I’m going to put all these stickers on the wall” was one recent example. Argh! No, you’re not, little one! Not with the house on the market.

Hmmm, probably… not

A proper two-pronged one, this. First of all, it reminds me of how I can sometimes be a little distracted while answering one of her millions of daily questions.

Secondly, it’s indicative of the fact that she sees me as someone who says no a lot. Some more top parenting. Yay me!

Chuffing

I said that there’s the odd cringe-worthy one and, although we’ve done way better at not teaching her to swear as soon as we did with her brothers, the odd pseudo-swear crops up.

A couple of days ago, I picked up her brother’s guitar and started playing a certain viral hit on it for her. “Oh no. Not Baby chuffing Shark, Daddy!” she shouted. Oops.

Which grown-up phrases do your little ones come out with?

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