The Curse of the Dummy

A picture of a dummy with the words "The Curse of the Dummy" superimposed.

Big news. The three-year-old finally gave up her dummy recently. The plan was for her to ditch it before she turned three, but we’re only a month and a half behind schedule. As the carnival surrounding Christmas happened in the intervening period I’m happy with that.

So another parenting battle has been won but at what cost? Well, in short, her pronunciation of certain words. She has an amazing vocabulary but has got into the habit of mispronouncing things. And they often sound a tad rude!


The recent wintry weather has much to answer for. Both in terms of how miserable it is outside and her linguistic skills. Unlike most normal people, she really enjoys the lottery that is walking in limited visibility.

A few days later, she asked to¬†“go for a walk in the bog”. And, yes, she’s aware both that the latter is also a slang term for the toilet and that such things are the epitome of hilarity. Still, I suppose we dodged a worse mispronunciation.


The other day, her brothers were discussing what they would do if they won a million pounds. After listing what she would buy – including three of the same thing for some strange reason – she addressed me.

“Daddy, I’m going to buy all the Shimmer and Shine toys when I’m bitch!” Erm…


There are certain metrics bloggers obsess over. One of them that those of us who write about parenting look out for is the Tots 100 ranking. So it was that, a week or so ago, I excitedly shouted to my wife that said ranking had been updated.

Youngest’s question as to the meaning of the key word in this sentence was more than a little reminiscent of Pontious Pilate in Monty Python’s Life of Brian.

Catch it

This is probably more of a case of learning where the gaps between sounds go than a dummy issue, but it’s still worthy of inclusion. She likes throwing and catching a ball with me and is really good at it too.

However, whenever she throws, her version of “catch it” sounds much more like “cat shit”. So that’s good.


You already know where this one’s going so there’s no point in trying to hide it. The CH sound is clearly too much of a challenge at the moment and is replaced by a hard C.

Thankfully she doesn’t yet know that some people abbreviate said snacks to ‘chocs’ – we’ll be in trouble when she does.

Which words do your kids mispronounce?


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  1. Eddie

    These are hilarious, had a few of these from my daughters when they were beginning to talk more, especially the catch it.

    Worst one we had was 3 years ago now, at the ripe old age of 2, very fluent with words, attempting to ask for blackcurrant juice! You may be able to tell where this is going and onto a year of just stocking orange juice.

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