Is my daughter an evil genius?

Youngest is very much in the terrible twos stage at the moment. Her defiance is something else. She has clearly obtained a plethora of tactics from her brothers but deploys them in a way that is very much her own.

She remains a lovely, thoughtful girl most of the time but is going through a barrier-pushing phase that’s at odds with her personality.

I thought we had experienced an iron will with the six-year-old when he was a similar age. It turns out that was nothing in comparison. While I hope that she retains her defiant streak if and when she encounters sexism later in life, it’s really testing at the moment.

But could she actually be an evil genius? I examine the evidence…

Kick the meerkat

You can tell a lot about people by how they treat animals. Now, I’ll preface this by saying that she’s highly respectful to our cat. But toy animals? That’s another story.

So far this month, she has told me she was putting monkeys in the oven (she meant the radiator, but that’s not much better) and encouraged me to kick a cuddly meerkat. She also openly guffawed at a scene in a Maisy book in which the eponymous rodent breaks her leg.

Mind games

I used to think the “I want that one” routine on Little Britain was the epitome of hilarious. And then I had kids. Both my sons dabbled with it briefly but soon realised that it was wiser to make a decision and stick with it.

Their little sister, however, will quite happily keep up the act. Particularly when it comes to food choices and potty training. Mercifully, not at the same time.

Sleep is for the weak

Every parent has done dopey things while sleep deprived. In 2012, for example, I left a perfectly safe job for a now-defunct digital agency. I digress. I think the toddler knows this. The propensity to be a bit naff while tired, that is. Not that specific questionable career move.

She refuses to settle down to sleep until she can’t hold on any longer and sounds off if we leave her to it. It’s 9pm before we get to eat most evenings. We’re permanently knackered as a result and prone to poor decision making. I’m convinced she’s doing this on purpose to control us!

A toddler pulling a grumpy face.

The eyebrows have it

And if all of the above isn’t sufficient evidence for you, here’s the clincher. She can waggle her eyebrows in the same way that Victorian villains in silent films do.

I swear I can hear dramatic, slightly-out-of-tune piano music when she does it.

What do you think? Is my daughter an evil genius or have we just had it easy with her older siblings?!

5 Comments
  • John Adams
    June 20, 2018

    And you know what, she probably looks at you and think’s YOU’RE the evil genius Tom!

  • Jodie
    June 22, 2018

    This sounds so much like my little evil genius haha! The terrible twos were hard!

  • Sally Whittle
    June 22, 2018

    They’re all evil geniuses at that age. Flea used to laugh uproariously whenever anyone got eaten in a TV Show. Still does. But apart from that she’s mostly normal.

  • Veronica Mitchell
    June 23, 2018

    I’ve been there! I have four kids and our youngest is turning 6 and she is the boss in the house. Haha! What Amanda wants, Amanda gets. I think that’s her motto in life. Thanks for sharing.

  • JallieDaddy
    June 27, 2018

    I remember the terrible twos, in my case douobled! Fun times eh? As you know it doesn’t last. I agree with you that it’s better to have a child with personality and character rather than sheepish and submissive, and I’m glad Jake and Ellie are like that too. Great post 🙂

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