Youngest is very much in the terrible twos stage at the moment. Her defiance is something else. She has clearly obtained a plethora of tactics from her brothers but deploys them in a way that is very much her own.
She remains a lovely, thoughtful girl most of the time but is going through a barrier-pushing phase that’s at odds with her personality.
I thought we had experienced an iron will with the six-year-old when he was a similar age. It turns out that was nothing in comparison. While I hope that she retains her defiant streak if and when she encounters sexism later in life, it’s really testing at the moment.
But could she actually be an evil genius? I examine the evidence…
Kick the meerkat
You can tell a lot about people by how they treat animals. Now, I’ll preface this by saying that she’s highly respectful to our cat. But toy animals? That’s another story.
So far this month, she has told me she was putting monkeys in the oven (she meant the radiator, but that’s not much better) and encouraged me to kick a cuddly meerkat. She also openly guffawed at a scene in a Maisy book in which the eponymous rodent breaks her leg.
The toddler just presented me with a toy meerkat and said: “Come on, Daddy. Give it a kick.” Erm… pic.twitter.com/qjq8vVuKH7
— Tom Briggs (@DiaryOfTheDad) June 7, 2018
I used to think the “I want that one” routine on Little Britain was the epitome of hilarious. And then I had kids. Both my sons dabbled with it briefly but soon realised that it was wiser to make a decision and stick with it.
Their little sister, however, will quite happily keep up the act. Particularly when it comes to food choices and potty training. Mercifully, not at the same time.
Sleep is for the weak
Every parent has done dopey things while sleep deprived. In 2012, for example, I left a perfectly safe job for a now-defunct digital agency. I digress. I think the toddler knows this. The propensity to be a bit naff while tired, that is. Not that specific questionable career move.
She refuses to settle down to sleep until she can’t hold on any longer and sounds off if we leave her to it. It’s 9pm before we get to eat most evenings. We’re permanently knackered as a result and prone to poor decision making. I’m convinced she’s doing this on purpose to control us!
The eyebrows have it
And if all of the above isn’t sufficient evidence for you, here’s the clincher. She can waggle her eyebrows in the same way that Victorian villains in silent films do.
I swear I can hear dramatic, slightly-out-of-tune piano music when she does it.
What do you think? Is my daughter an evil genius or have we just had it easy with her older siblings?!