My daughter is very much in the terrible twos stage at the moment. As all battle-scarred parents know, this term is something of a misnomer. It’s definitely not confined to the 365 days that little ones spend as two-year-olds.
It starts around about the 18-month mark, reaches its peak at roughly two and a half and subsides somewhat before they achieve ‘threenager’ status soon after their third birthday. Having been through it twice already with her brothers, I know it pretty much off by heart.
So, anyway, she is currently at the eye of the storm of this challenging era. She has perfected the angry folding of arms, stamping of feet and backwards, head-first diving onto the sofa moves.
She has also become incredibly resistant to just about everything. Sigh. As a result, we find ourselves engaged in multiple character-building battles.
The biggest of these at the moment concerns bananas. “How can something so tasty and reminiscent of smiles be the cause of such consternation?” I hear you ask. Well, I shall tell you.
If she could live on them, she would. She loves superheroes too, so maybe she’s somehow seen an old episode of this and got ideas in her head.
But Karl Pilkington says you can’t have more than six bananas in a day and I trust him. This gives us a challenge. She’ll take small bites of other things she loved not that long ago before stating that she doesn’t like them.
I hate waste so, obviously, have to finish things for her. This week, for example, I’ve tucked into several pieces of toast, a hummus sandwich and a really nice kid-friendly curry that my wife had made for her. And don’t get me started on the yoghurts.
And that’s that. There’s very little that can be done to persuade her. I did manage to get her to polish off a bowl of spaghetti hoops the other day, but I had to fall over after every spoonful. For the record, I don’t recommend that as an approach.
In further evidence of her obsession with everybody’s favourite bendy fruit, she regularly does a Goldilocks impression by stealing the six-year-old’s bed. And what does he have on his bedding? Monkeys. Coincidence? I think not.
Furthermore, we have twice had to buy her a solitary banana while out shopping. On both occasions, we popped into a supermarket just to buy a box of wine and ended up being served by the same cashier. I’m now a bit worried as to what he thinks of us.
Looking through some of my older posts, it seems I may actually be to blame for the whole bananas debacle. Back when she was only three months old, I compared her to a Minion. “I’m sure she’ll like banans once she’s allowed to eat them,” I chirped. Prat.
So it appears that this parenting banana skin was my own fault. Well done, Tom.
Which foods are your little ones obsessed with?