Five largely trivial things I’m grumpy about

A grumpy man with steam emerging from his ears.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m getting grumpy before my time. Maybe this is because half term seemed to last forever plus, as a result of an injury I picked up at five-a-side, I ache everywhere and can only hobble at the moment.

It might also be down to the fact that I’ll be 40 by the end of next year. While it’s something I’m not looking forward to, it’s often in my thoughts and I don’t like it.

Whatever the reason, a by-product is an increase in curmudgeonly attitudes towards things I don’t like. There are, of course, plenty of things that I’m angry about. But, as they’re probably the same things that most people are angry about, here are some of the things I’m grumpy about.

Modern slang

Now don’t get me wrong. I love slang and colloquialisms. They’re an important and creative part of every language – when they make some semblance of sense. But people who use words completely out of context to express being in awe of things and who use ‘literally’ incorrectly? I’m figuratively sick of the dopes.


Thanks to school discos and birthday parties, my kids have discovered chart ‘music’. They still like the decent stuff that we play them, but often ask for frankly naff pop music too. I know how old this makes me sound, but it’s just noise and unimaginative, repetitive lyrics. And don’t get me started on teenagers who walk around blasting it from their phones…

Unnecessary abbreviations

As with slang, I have no problem with a well-deployed abbreviation. It’s when people abbreviate the shortest words and phrases that it gets on my nerves. In fact, those that include a word beginning with the letter W often end up being longer than their full forms. This completely undermines the original syllable-saving purpose of abbreviations. ARGH!


I’m no fashion expert myself and dress for comfort rather than style, but the way some jeans are designed and worn nowadays really bothers me. Why do people pay extra to get pairs riddled with holes? It’s completely impractical! And why do we have to see at least half of people’s pants?

Bad manners

People who don’t say thank you when you open a door for them. Those who carry on conversations with colleagues when serving customers. The ones who perpetuate poor email etiquette. Those who don’t RSVP to birthday party invitations. I wish upon them a disappointing lunch – that’ll show them!

So I suppose the big question is whether I will cease being grumpy once I’m over the hill and spend eight or nine happy years before getting antsy about turning 50. Probably not.

Which largely trivial things are you grumpy about?


  1. Ron Goodwin

    People who don’t know the difference between “bought” and “brought”. List includes many TV presenters & “celebrities”.

    People who say “absolutely” when they just mean “yes”.

    People who start a sentence with “I mean”.

    There, rant over.

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