Five petty things my sons argue over

A Batman meme featuring one of the petty things my sons fight over.

Dylan and Xander have been getting on each other’s nerves more lately. It’s nothing unusual; with sick bugs to negotiate as well as the impending arrival of Christmas, Term Two is easily one of the toughest for kids of school age.

As a result, they’ve been at loggerheads more often than usual. Leaving us exhausted and slightly more likely to have some wine once they’re finally asleep.

Here, then, are five petty things my sons argue over…

Pot luck

Yoghurt is synonymous with cooling things down and is actually deployed to temper feisty curries. How could it possibly be at the centre of such furious anger? As well as the discord over who gets which flavour, there’s the issue of the packaging.

You see, we get a brand which includes jokes on the outer packaging and inside the lids. We’ve heard each one roughly 700 times now so all know them backwards. But if one boy reads out the setup and the other beats him to the punchline there’s hell to pay.

Thinking outside the box

We have enough trouble getting the boys to agree what to watch during family film time as it is. Our record is 45 minutes. That’s not the longest argument, rather the shortest one. It’s infinitely preferable to watch something on Sky or Netflix.

Why? Well, if they’re both happy to watch the same thing and it happens to be on DVD, there’s a secondary argument over who holds the box. Evidently, it enhances the viewing experience in a way that I don’t understand.

Are you looking at me?

Yes, I’ve had to wade in to break up heated altercations that started as a result of one brother having the utter temerity to look at the other. I don’t think they’ve seen Taxi Driver so I have no idea where this comes from.

I also have no idea of the meaning they attribute to each other’s looks. I’ve seen the glances and they just happen to look at each other now and then. It’s enough to start an afternoon-long feud though. Sigh.

Sofa so good

We recently replaced our sofa. There were a few reasons for this. It was broken and we wanted a large one that we could all sit on for our wonderfully successful family film afternoons.

It was also in the back of our minds that a four-seater would result in fewer boundary disputes. On the old two seater, it was an act of war for one brother to get as much as a toe on his sibling’s cushion. Man alive.

One pen to rule them all

They say that getting creative can be a good way of managing tempers. Not in our house. Dylan and Xander will both quite happily sit together drawing and colouring things. Until one of them needs the black felt pen.

Of course we have more than one – we’re not that daft – but in their eyes there is only one. It seems to be the stationery equivalent of the ring that Gollum is so fond of. I can’t wait for it to run out!

Which petty things do your kids argue over?


  1. Nige

    The sofa is a argument in the making in our house definitely boundaries they are not allowed to cross I usually sit in the middle stops all arguments great read Tom

  2. John Adams

    Getting a lot of this at home at the moment. i thin it;s with Izzy having started school, Helen is trying to assert her dominance as older sister. We get a lot of tale telling and so on. it gets a bit draining but if the kids are left to sort things out, they generally do. It can be a case of selective hearing!

  3. Pingback: Christmas Parenting Bingo - Christmas - Diary of the Dad

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