The perils of Rhymetime

Two donkeys.

We take Amelie to Rhymetime at our local library every week. She loves singing songs so it’s a great way of getting her used to other children before she starts pre school next year. We enjoy taking her along too so it’s all good. That said, Rhymetime isn’t without its perils for me. Here’s why…

Perfectly floored

The Rhymetime session we take Amelie to is very well attended. Consequently, it makes more sense to sit in a circle on the floor. Two decades of five-a-side have taken their toll on my knees so I can only sit with my legs stretched out in front of me and leaning on a book shelf. I sit in constant fear of tripping wandering toddlers and Amelie quite literally hitting me with the book.

Bum notes

Singing in public is scary at the best of times – but even more so when you’re the only bloke. I have the voice of an angel. Lucifer. Unfortunately, this isn’t tempered much when I attempt to sing. I manage for the most part by doing so in hushed tones, but there are certain notes that are just too high for me. I’m looking at you, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. As a result I end up sounding like a donkey that’s losing its voice. Plus there’s always the risk of Amelie contributing bum notes of her own…

Five delicious frogs

Akin to the embarrassment of being afflicted with a stupid voice is the eternally thorny problem of lyrics. There are songs that I’ve either forgotten or never heard before. It’s reminiscent of my primary school days when we had to join in with Give me Oil in My Lamp and someone always added an erroneous “of kings”. I’m able to wing it most of the time but there are some that I can never get right. The poor green and speckled frogs always end up being referred to as delicious.

Watch the birdie

One of the songs we regularly sing is Tommy Thumb. You know the one. Each of your digits assumes an identity, you enquire as to their whereabouts and sing on their behalf, waggling the one in question for the “how do you do?” bit. It’s fine until Middle Man – at which point I effectively end up flipping the bird to other kids and parents.

Shake, rattle and howl

Of course, the kids all love it when it’s time to get out the instruments. I have mixed feelings about this. It’s great to see Amelie using them – she has a good sense of rhythm and really enjoys using maracas in particular. What she’s not so good at, however, is keeping them in her hands. She’s forever whacking me in the face with them or basically throwing them at my shins, causing me to reprise my cacophonous mule impression.

It can’t be just me who sounds awful, trips up toddlers and swears at their mums can it? What are your experiences of Rhymetime?


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