How old do you feel?

They say that you’re as old as you feel. Whoever ‘they’ are. That being the case, I think I’m currently significantly older than my years. For the record, I’m 37. And, as anyone who has watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail knows, that isn’t old.

A meme from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

However, thanks to a combination of factors, I feel at least 20 years older. The main picture above – done via an app, obviously; I can’t afford a DeLorean – is how I feel.

The biggest culprit is the tiredness. Like all parents, I’m used to being permanently knackered. But the constant state of lethargy has upped it a notch lately.

Maybe the fact that Kate and I are outnumbered by children is finally taking its toll. Perhaps it’s Amelie’s natural immunity to sleep coupled with my increasing years. Or maybe it’s my slightly more sedentary lifestyle now that commuting is a fading memory.

Whatever the explanation, I’m rarely wide awake. Plus I often struggle to remember words for the most basic of things. This extends to names too. I’m forever addressing the wrong child. And to think that I thought the complaints detailed in this post from 2011 constituted feeling old. I knew nothing!

Then there’s the aching. I still play five-a-side most weeks and manage to run a lot. But I’m really starting to feel it a day or two afterwards.

Particularly in the knees. Similarly, after last week’s trip to Pevensey Castle I hurt everywhere from all the walking. What’s going on?!

An MP4 player.

A couple of my senses are diminishing too. I often catch myself holding my phone at arm’s length and squinting in order to read it. Plus – and how old is this? – I found myself heeding my MP4 player’s warning about hearing loss yesterday.

I’ve also witnessed the beginnings of some altogether more visual evidence. Grey hairs! Thankfully those on my temples are few and far between at the moment. I’m leaving them as I’ve been told that, if you pull out one, five show up to its funeral. And we don’t want that.

The ones on my beard are becoming more apparent though. As soon as there’s any length, they become a focal point. Pretty soon, I’ll look like old man Rick in The Walking Dead season eight trailer…

Old man Rick in The Walking Dead.

I say that, but given my slow movement, declining senses and general groaning every time I attempt to do anything, perhaps there’s a closer resemblance to one of the former humans he and his fellow survivors find themselves up against. Urgh.

There is hope, however. At the start of the post, I used the word ‘currently’. If that saying is as true as people give it credit for, the age you feel can presumably be changed.

I’m going to start using moisturiser every day and not just when my face starts to fall off. I’ve already ordered a replacement band for my Fitbit. And am going to start doing crosswords every day. It remains to be seen whether this achieves anything. It would be nice to at least feel my own age though!

How old do you feel?


  1. Mark

    My partner questioned my age on my recent birthday. Had to get my passport out to prove I was 43. Worryingly, as I passed the mirror 44 did seem possible, nigh probable.

    Twice now I’ve been medically diagnosed as suffering from middle age, too. First my middle-age shoulder, then my arthritic fingers, which apparently aren’t arthritic, just… middle-aged?!

    For the record, I am 43. I lifted my glasses to check.

    1. Post

      Ha! I often end up double checking my age with my wife. I was convinced I was a year younger the other day. Or maybe that was just wishful thinking. Are those complaints actual conditions? If so, I wonder whether Eric Clapton will ever change his nickname from ‘Slowhand’ to ‘Middle-age Fingers’?

  2. Tracy

    “I still play five-a-side most weeks and manage to run a lot. But Iā€™m really starting to feel it a day or two afterwards.”

    The fact that you still play footie and run is a plus. Only feeling it the next day or two days? You lucky sod. I try a bit of yoga and I’m Deep Heated up to the eyeballs for the next week. It’s all downhill from here lol. Somebody told me that it was all downhill after 35. They weren’t kidding. šŸ˜€

    1. Post

      Sorry Tracy! I imagine yoga probably works a wider range muscles than football does. I’m not brave enough to put that theory to the test though – I’d pull a hamstring in minutes!

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