Seven annoying things babies do

A baby scratching her father's face.

Amelie is now four months old and as well as reaching some lovely and memorable milestones including laughing and trying to roll over, she’s also reminded me of some of the significantly less cute things that little ones get up to. They’re all strangely familiar, so Dylan and Xander must have done them and I’ve obviously repressed the memories. Here, then, are seven annoying things babies do…

Heads you lose

I wear glasses while using the computer and have a fairly relaxed attitude towards shaving. The result? My bonce is a fascinating sensory toy with reflective and scratchy surfaces. To say that Amelie’s experiments with my face are painful would be an understatement.

From changing mat to yoga mat

All parents will be familiar with this one. You’ve dealt with the worst bit of changing baby’s nappy, finished making them wear a clean one on their head like a budget Easter bonnet and have moved it to its proper, perfect position ready for securing. Then they decide to demonstrate their prowess with the bridge pose. Gah!

Sock it to ’em

All babies seem to have a natural aversion to socks as well as a Houdini-like ability to wriggle free of them several times a day. You’d think that they’d get cold feet about continuing to do so…

You are under a vest

Amelie has followed in her brothers’ footsteps in realising that going through two changes of clothes in quick succession is exactly twice as much fun as doing so once. Much like my approach to eat all you can buffets, she views clean clothes more as a challenge.

Pull the other one

Whether it’s Kate’s hair or the drawstrings on the hoodies I wear, Amelie can’t resist grabbing inedible things and trying to eat them. I often forget what she’s been up to, go outside and get whipped round the face with dribble-soaked bits of string every time there’s the slightest of breezes. Maybe it’s time to grow up and start wearing jumpers.

Call to arms

It’s taken us four years to get Xander to sleep through the night in his own bed and it seems he’s handed the torch down to his little sister. She sleeps beautifully in our arms or cuddled up to our shoulders, but in her cot? No chance!

Give the cold shoulder

Having been there, seen it, done it and got baby sick on the proverbial T-shirt twice before, I’m wise to babies’ propensity to puke on me and I now make sure I’ve got a muslin over my shoulder whenever I’m carrying Amelie. This doesn’t work, of course. She grabs it, drops it on the floor and then lets fly.

Of course, they then give you a look like this and all is forgiven. Little buggers!

A baby girl wearing a sun hat.


  1. Fred Harrington

    I got lucky with my daughter, it seems. We never had problems with her sleeping in her crib. She never had to be weened off of a pacifier because she never wanted to take one in the first place. She was pretty much a dream come true in every way when it comes to being a baby!

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