To fee or not to fee

A dictionary with a pencil and writing pad.

We attended parent consultations for both Dylan and Xander this week and a common denominator was their impressive literacy skills. Proud face. They both love books and have vivid imaginations, so it’s not really surprising that they’ve been experimenting with language more of late.

I find the influence of technology on their language particularly interesting. The words ‘pause’, ‘delete’ and ‘downloading’ seem to have more than one meaning as far as my boys are concerned.

The other day, for example, I was telling Dylan about a funny thing he did as a toddler. “No I didn’t Daddy, I deleted that.”

Okay, so the premise of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind has become real.

Similarly, Xander was secretively working on a drawing recently. I asked him if I could see it. “Not yet, Daddy. It’s still downloading.”

Maybe the machines are finally rising up against us – or maybe I should stop looking to films to explain the curious behaviour of my offspring.

Technology aside, they’ve come up with new words of their own as well as new definitions for existing ones. Here are some that have entered their vocabulary in the last few weeks…

Fee, v.

To run a short to medium distance while joyfully shouting “fee” for the duration. A greater distance will result in a longer “feeeeeee”.

I’m just going to fee down to the Post Office to send my brother’s toys to Hawaii.

Gather, v.

To run around in a hapless, chaotic fashion, much like a headless chicken.

I say, Daddy, the Newcastle United back four is gathering around all over the place again today.

Musicas, n, pl.

The rails that stop a child falling from a bunk bed and also act as a means of creating a cacophony during nocturnal hours.

Daddy, did you know that I composed the score for the TV series of Hannibal on my musicas?

Yoyiyoyiyoyiya Yoyiyoyiyoyiya, n.

  1. A fictional land where all irritating catchphrases that are repeated ad nauseum come from. Annoying soundbites of forgotten origin are also often attributed to it.
  2. Home to an invisible man called Mr Twitchy.

I wrote a story about Mr Twitchy today. He lives in Yoyiyoyiyoyiya Yoyiyoyiyoyiya. It’s ace.

Wanky woo

Okay, I’m dropping the Dictionary Corner act here. I genuinely have no idea what they think this means or where they got it from, but know for sure they didn’t hear it from us. I can only assume they were experimenting with the sound. Anyway, I pretended not to hear and they haven’t said it again so I’m letting sleeping wanky woos lie!

I doubt that any of these entries will become word of the year, but you never know.

Have your kids made up any new words or definitions?

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