Our weekly grocery shopping arrived yesterday and things were a little different to usual. No, not because of the lack of plastic bags and the ensuing Chuckle Brothers-style farce that was moving it all to the kitchen, but due to the presence of two items that stood out from rest of the order. A bucket and a shower curtain.
At first, I thought the supermarket had been creative with its replacements; we’d bought a bucket for wallpaper paste recently and have a glass shower screen so had no obvious need for a plastic curtain either.
I wondered whether Xander had managed to get his hands on the laptop while Kate was completing the order – he’s got previous for things like this. No, Kate was smiling when she saw them unloaded from the van so this was definitely her handiwork.
My thoughts then quickly flicked through a certain scene in American Psycho, Renton’s shopping list in Trainspotting and a news story I’d read about DIY store staff reading Fifty Shades of Grey to find out why some products were flying off the shelves. No, she wasn’t planning to bump me off, do hard drugs or, at eight months pregnant, in any mood to try anything kinky.
Thankfully, the answer to that last one pointed to the true reason for the unexpected presence of these household items – we’d been weighing up the merits of a home birth and, having thoroughly checked the facts, had agreed that it’s what we want to do. These are the first couple of things we’ll need to protect our bed from the carnage that accompanies the beautiful family moment that is the arrival of a new baby. I had simply forgotten the fact that we needed to buy them. Phew!
We’ve discussed it with the midwife and, as things stand, there’s no reason why we can’t have a home birth. I also took the opportunity at Mumsnet Bumpfest to sound out some leading maternity experts about whether it was a good idea for us and they seemed to think we’d be fine too, so that’s all good.
It all seems a bit more real now that we’ve invested the princely sum of £3.50 in a home birth, so I took this as my prompt to do some further reading on what I might need to do if the baby arrives faster than the midwives do. I’ve also swotted up on the other items on this altogether different kind of bucket list and we’ve already got all of them. Job done!
That leaves just one important thing for me to do. Our room is also my office and my computer faces the bed – unless I want the next grocery order that Kate places to include some sundries for a sinister purpose, I must remember to switch off Skype!