You know those maps that show you how many crimes have been committed on your street? Well there’s probably a ruddy big dot on the precise location of our house on the one of our road, thanks to a stealthy criminal who has been purloining our possessions on a daily basis. Yes, we have a one-cat crimewave living under our roof. She-Ra may have stolen the hearts of Kate and the boys, but all she has stolen from me are my socks.
Having worked at Cats Protection for over five years, I know a fair bit about feline behaviour and I even once wrote a magazine article about their propensity to pilfer pants, but thought that we had a nice, boring moggy whose greatest extravagance was climbing the curtains. How wrong I was.
It all started when I found one of my socks on the living room floor. I assumed it was one of the boys messing about and returned it to its mate on the clothes airer in the bathroom. The sock had the brand name ‘CAT’ on it – you couldn’t make it up and I should have read the signs.
A few days later, I caught her red pawed – she entered the room with a sock in her mouth, dropped it on the floor and gave me a look that said “Oh shit… busted” before remembering she had business to attend to elsewhere in the house.
Cut to a couple of nights ago when we were awoken by her miaowing her head off in an apparently desperate fashion. Was she hungry or, worse, hurt? No, the little bastard just wanted to alert us to the fact that she’d nicked a load of socks and was busy moulting on them. I picked off as much fur as I could and put them back on the rack – only to find her on them again a couple of hours later when I got up to have a shower.
Thankfully, her sock spree will be limited to four walls. We live on a busy road so she’s not allowed outside, so she’s basically under house arrest which is what she deserves, the thieving little git.
She’s not just a cat burglar though. Oh no… she’s branched out to acts of mindless violence too. Just watch what she did to Xander as we sang to him on his birthday…