Peppa Pig: The case against

A pig with a red dress that has been added in Photoshop
A copyright-safe image of said pig

“All that I know most surely about morality and obligations, I owe to football”
– Albert Camus

“All that we know most surely about brattishness and insubordination, we owe to Peppa Pig”
– Dylan and Xander

I’m only a week and a bit into my inter-job existence and there’s something that’s already starting to grind. It’s not the fact that people hardly ever respond to those who apply for jobs; I take that as an unfortunate given in this day and age. Neither is it the worry about being able to feed the family and keep a roof over our heads; it’s okay, I’ve got this! Nope, it’s an anthropomorphic porcine. In other words, I’m sick to the back teeth of Peppa Pig.

All the little things that ired me about this brattish little oik when I didn’t have to see it as often have been amplified ten fold. The fact that Daddy Pig – and a good number of the other adult male characters, actually – is a feckless figure of fun annoys me, the irritating jolliness of the theme tune is getting on my nerves and there are only actually about two hours a day in which it isn’t on. But the thing that’s most bothersome are some of the things that Dylan and Xander have picked up from watching it.

I know that kids are kids and are inevitably going to learn bad habits somewhere or other – including from me – but it has to be said that, more than most irritating cartoon characters, Peppa is a little shit. Here are four things that my two have learned from her:

Answering back
She can’t help herself – she’s always talking down to her parents. So are Dylan and Xander now.

Saying things were “a bit funny”
No, Dylan. If I stub my toe and hop about on the spot in agony, it’s not fucking funny.

Jumping in muddy puddles
Okay, Xander, first time was cute, but you and I are both running out of clean trousers now.

Bouncing on my stomach
Both of you; I’m not a bouncy castle and Daddy Pig is a complete dickhead for letting his kids and all their friends do this to him. Ruptured spleens are so over rated.

I’ll have my revenge – we’re having sausages for dinner tonight…

Comments

  1. Tom @Ideas4Dads

    Lol we are very much Team Ben and Holly esp Nanny Plum

    If I see one more pig jump in a muddy puddle I’m going to tell the kids where their bacon sandwich comes from!!!

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      Tom

      Cheers Tom! Yes, we’re big fans of Nanny Plum too. Strange that Ben and Holly is so different when it’s made by the same people!

  2. John Adams

    Superb! I’m looking forward to the SpongeBob Squarepants blog post. That, to my mind, is freakish TV and I won’t let the kids watch it.

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      Tom

      I hear you, John! Can’t stand that sea-dwelling twat either. Remember the characters on the Weetabix ads in the 1980s? I think SpongeBob’s creators may recall them! 😉

  3. Sammy

    Hilarious and I do of course wholeheartedly agree with every word written.
    We are also Nanny Plum fans, she’s my kind of woman.

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  4. Jonathan

    I don’t think that I’ve ever watched Peppa Pig and am curious to see it now (…which I realise probably wasn’t your hope or intention!). It’s a bit frustrating to see the sort of stereotypical bumbling dad. Are there any kids’ programmes with examples of involved dads that are the opposite of Daddy Pig?

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      Tom

      You’ve never seen it?! I’m insanely jealous. To be fair on Daddy Pig, he is involved… he’s just a bit of a tool. Opposites though? Hmmm… well Mr Elf in Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom, though very businesslike, is a capable male character who doesn’t make a fool of himself at every turn. Can’t think of too many others though!

  5. Mark Richards

    Find some old tapes/DVDs of the Magic School Bus. That’s a proper kids’ programme. Swear that my eldest is doing Engineering at Uni due to love of science started by that programme. I also had a bit of a thing for Miss Frizzle…

  6. Iris Tilley

    Haha you havdn’t failed to make me giggle yet lol (i really didn’t like the teletubbies)

  7. Pingback: Why I think today's children are accent-prone - Comment - Diary of the Dad

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