Lord Lucan, Shergar and several ships and planes that veered off course somewhere in the vicinity of a geometric shape in the northern Atlantic Ocean. They’re all more than likely stuffed down the back of my sofa.
Ever since Xander became mobile, Dylan has become more protective of things that he perceives as his. He has also become adept at hiding them. His favourite cache is the sofa. My favoured side of the sofa, in fact. And, joy of joys, he’s ramped up his stuff-stashing behaviour of late.
I keep forgetting about it and sitting down after a long, tiring day. Of course, I spring straight back up again after receiving an unexpected jab in the kidneys courtesy of something concealed behind the cushion I’ve sat against.
He’s been known to squirrel away empty bowls, full cups of water, a coat hanger, a fork he’d stealthily liberated from the kitchen, books and all of Thomas the Tank Engine and his friends among a great many others.
I’ve heard of occasional tables, but the notion of an occasional settee/occasional lost world is ridiculous. Then again, wardrobes have been known to double as portals to snowy lands with talking messiah figure lions in them.
As well as of a means of dwarves nicking treasure from Napoleon. So maybe I’m being unfair. Especially as Xander has previous for breaking things. I don’t understand why he can’t use it as a climbing frame or trampoline like any normal, self-respecting three-year-old boy.
I’m going to take the bull by the horns this weekend. I’m going in! Hopefully, I’ll find some long-lost toys that the boys and my obsessive tendencies have missed and maybe a few quid too. Knowing Dylan’s ability to conceal things though – and, for the purposes of the whimsy that is to follow, the power of time travel too – I’m more likely to find Glenn Miller, a colony of living dodos and the lost city of Atlantis.
It’s going to be like the warehouse at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Wish me luck!