It’s finally happened; I’m coming out with the kind of line widely associated with old people. Jokingly, of course, but that’s the first step. You know the kind of remark, usually something relating to ‘the youth of today’ and there being a general lack of respect for their elders. Now I know this is a bit harsh as the young people I’m talking about in this post are both under two years old, but I’m totally okay with that.
First up is Dylan who has taken to doing something really quite irritating of late; diving on the floor in a way that certain footballers would be proud of. He’ll be prancing around the house with the same gait as the puppets in Team America, when he will have a sly glance to one side – probably to see if the imaginary referee’s assistant on the imaginary touchline is watching him – fling his arms in the air, throw himself forward and sprawl around before looking up hopefully at me. I assume I’m the matchday official in all this – I am a qualified ref after all.
It’s often in the same place too, so maybe he thinks our dining room is the opposition penalty area. He does stop short of waving an imaginary yellow card in my direction though – small mercy there then. We can only assume that he’s started doing it as a means of trying to get our attention when one of us is holding Xander – either that or because In the Night Garden’s Igglepiggle takes a tumble every night and he’s therefore decided that it’s what the cool kids do these days.
Xander, meanwhile, has already started putting me in my place. He’s only a month old, but seems to instinctively know how to cut me down to size. He’s been on a pretty major growth spurt of late and, as a result, I haven’t had much of a chance to cuddle him when I’m at home because he’s been busy being a remorseless milk devouring machine.
The other day, I seized my chance to address this issue when he gave poor Kate five minutes’ peace. “Why don’t you give Mummy a rest and sit with Daddy for a bit longer this time, Xander?” I asked. He burped in my face and then started indicating that he wanted feeding again. See? No respect!
So that’s the youth of today for you. One of my boys is learning how to con authority figures and the other is just obsessed by boobs. They’ll go far…