Afraid of cows? Pull the udder one!

Some cows in a field.

Ages ago when he was really little, Dylan developed a very niche fear: cartoon snails. We didn’t know why, but as soon as one of the slimy little buggers appeared on the telly, he’d start either whimpering at best or demonstrating his incredible lung power at worst.

We couldn’t help but laugh and I meant to write a post about it. Alas, I didn’t. Well, now there’s a new one that he’s got a beef with. Cows.

If we make bovine sounds when we’re teaching him animal noises – a key life skill, I’m sure you’ll agree – he responds with his “I’m really not sure about this” expression and whine and runs and hides his face on the sofa. Poor little man!

Similarly, if he sees one on the television, he’s inconsolable. He’s even a little bit funny about a couple of toys he has. One is a yellow cow which moos when you squeeze its head. It’s fair enough. If someone applied enough pressure to my bonce, I think I’d probably do the same.

It’s only doing its job, but Dylan doesn’t like it. We’ve got no idea why. That’s Old MacDonald had a Farm off limits for the foreseeable then. He also bursts into tears when he’s finished his milk. I don’t think that’s related though.

As his earlier temporary molluscophobia – yes, I had to look that one up – proves though, Dylan has previous as far as random things that frighten him are concerned. He still gets upset by things that move in a certain way.

One that is always guaranteed to set him off occurs regularly on In the Night Garden. I’ve written about the dark side of this family favourite before but, as far as laddo is concerned, this one trumps everything else.

It’s the Tombliboos or, to be more specific, their free-spirited trousers. If they lose them and they go flying across the screen, I don’t even need to look over to Dylan to see if he’s upset. It’s a given.

Thankfully, however, I’m pretty confident he’s going to get over his latest irrational fear. About a year ago, he was given a board book about a kitten. It has a button that, when pressed, makes a miaowing noise. Surprisingly. Dylan was beside himself with woe when he first encountered it, so it was put on the shelf.

He discovered it again only this week and now finds it hilarious. Conversely, it is now only rivalled by David Cameron in being my least favourite thing in the world. Hey ho. So it looks as though he’ll eventually learn to love cows, but I’m sure he’ll milk it a bit more until then…


  1. New Dad

    The world must be so confusing to babies and toddlers, everything’s new and potentially terrifying! I’d love to know what goes on in their heads to make the decisions as to what becomes the latest fear though.

    Actually, maybe not.

  2. Sarah Miles

    A very moo-ving post…(Lord help me)

    Seriously, the whole of the Night Garden freaks me out. What in all things Holy is going on? I reckon it was an absinthe-fuelled ‘I’ve got a good idea for a kids’ TV show!’

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