Do you remember the first time?

It struck me the other day that I haven’t written much about the fact that Kate and I are expecting our second child this year. I guess that’s because the last few months of 2011 were insanely busy for us and, by the time we had the second scan, all eyes were on the commercial/binge drinking festival we affectionately call Christmas.

The truth is that I, for one, haven’t really had it at the top of my list of worries after all, we’ve done it all once before and that was with the added stress of moving house just a month before Dylan was born. While I’m sure there are plenty of parenting things that we could have done better, he is an absolute delight, so there’s nothing to fret about, right? Well that was certainly the case until midnight struck on the idiot box last night, anyway. As we watched tax payers’ money literally going up in smoke over London, to the sound of some peculiar musical mashups, the realisation that Dylan’s little brother is due in just over three months hit me with considerable force. Shiiiiiiiit!

In terms of all the actual stuff we’ll need, we’re pretty much there, it’s just a question of being mentally prepared. And I’m not. Not yet anyway. That’s not to say I’m not looking forward to it far from it, this was planned and I can’t wait to meet laddo’s new partner in crime. I just have so many nagging questions in my head. Like, for example, how is Dylan going to react? How are we going to manage two little monsters when they both kick off at the same time? And when, pray tell, am I going to have the chance to play Max Payne 3?! I’m sure all of this will be fine and we’ll happily wing it like we did last time even the Max Payne bit; I somehow managed to play most of Red Dead Redemption with Dylan fast asleep on me and the volume right down  but there’s still one slight concern… I literally cannot remember what to do with a new baby!

It was great to see my sister and her family at Christmas and when I was asked if I wanted to bottle feed my three-month-old niece I jumped at the chance, but it felt like I’d never held a child of that age before; I seem to have forgotten absolutely everything about the early days. I’m not sure how this has happened; I’ve always had a very good memory. I recall speaking to a friend about the first few weeks of being a dad shortly after Dylan was born and asking him about his experiences, only to be baffled as to how he couldn’t remember much about them. Now I’m exactly the same. Was I that sleep deprived that stuff just didn’t stick in the memory? Maybe the first month was so traumatic that I have erased it from my mind? Who knows?!

One thing that I do remember, however, is the Community Midwife telling us on her first visit to our house that, although Dylan was then only three days old, we knew him better than anyone else. I think this was meant to inspire us, but it only served to scare the crap out of me and that’s kind of how I feel now. Still, we managed and think we’ve done a good job so far; let’s hope it all comes back to me… quickly! 


  1. PoshBird

    Hey Tom don’t fret, it truly does just come back to you 🙂 and somehow it pretty much slots into place ! Oh but if it doesn’t then just ‘wing’ it nobody will mind and little ones don’t hold it against you ;-). Best wishes for 2012 and your new arrival x

  2. mutteringsofafool

    It’s funny the second time around isn’t it? Don’t feel stressed or anxious about it, I guess because what happens isn’t a surprise? We were looking at photos yesterday of Matilda as a new born you forget how much they grow even in 9 months!
    I’m sure it’ll come back to you though and hopefully when faced with a crying baby you’ll remember what worked the first time round.

  3. Mammasaurus

    The silly over used clichés like ‘ it’s like riding a bike’ are annoyingly true!

    Not only will it all ‘come back to you’ but it will do so without the worry of ‘am I doing it right?’ that you may have had the first time round 😀

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.