Loitering within tent

The sunny weather we have all enjoyed of late has seen us finally dragging ourselves outside to do something about the horrendous mess we call the garden. Dylan was born only a month after we moved in, so we had a great excuse to neglect it last summer but sadly not this year from my lazy point of view. Damn this early ‘summer’!

So while, with the aid of my green-fingered parents, we’ve been turning our back yard into something we don’t mind our neighbours seeing us in, Dylan has been getting his first taste of camping. A good friend gave us a children’s tent shortly after he arrived in this world and it has proved to be an inspired purchase. He loves it, it protects him from the sun and we all get to enjoy being outdoors too. The other benefit, for the moment at least, is that he stays put in it while he gets used to the new surroundings. Everyone’s a winner – well, at least until he decides the shed is worth dragging himself over to investigate.

Like DIY, gardening is something I’m awful at but, if you excuse the pun, it’s growing on me. While I get the hang of the more delicate side of it, there’s the destructive element at which I excel. You’ve got to love a bit of brute force and ignorance now and then. Digging up and ripping things out of the ground are both very cathartic, although the most pleasing act of pseudo-violence was ridding ourselves of a gnome that the previous occupiers saw fit to leave behind.

Why these ugly things are perceived in folklore as legendary creatures is beyond me – they’re just odd little men, the like of which can be found nursing the same pint for hours on end in your local social club. Anyway, the little bugger had been mocking me with his hideous grin and beady little eyes since we moved in and enough was enough. I smashed the interloper over the head with a shovel before interring him in a shallow grave that we then turned into a flower bed. I know it was probably uncalled for, but the beardy little blighter may have frightened Dylan and, until we have another kid, there’s only room for one little loiterer in our garden.

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