Dylan seems to be getting a tiny bit more independent with every day at the moment so what better time to let him try out his first set of wheels? Like the vast majority of first-time drivers, his new motor – okay, it’s a walker, but it looks vaguely like a car – is second hand. It has been very kindly loaned by his older cousin, Jack, who has long since moved onto a cooler mode of transport with fewer wheels.
Unfortunately, the wheels on his walker don’t get on too well with the new carpet in our living room and staying put is no fun, so there’s really only one room he can go and act like a Sunday driver in; the kitchen.
Our kitchen is fairly narrow, so his initial attempts at moving around in search of things to grab and put in his mouth – his favourite hobby alongside showing his affection for us by trying to rip our faces off – were reminiscent of the scene in one of the Austin Powers films when Mike Myers tries – and fails – to manoeuvre a long, cart-like vehicle through a narrow corridor. All he succeeded in doing was alternately ram raiding the dishwasher and the oven.
Still, once he learned how not to career around like George Michael, he learned that, even in our poky little kitchen, there is plenty of fun to be had. Repeatedly smacking into our legs if we have the temerity to turn our backs for a moment seems to be enjoyable, as does knocking over the admittedly large accumulation of recycling by the bin.
I keep meaning to do it every weekend, but often can’t be bothered and let it stack up until the point that, when I do eventually go to the local bottle bank, I come home with arms like an orangutan. I digress. The positive side to my laziness is that we almost have enough plastic bottles for him to play human skittles with now.
The only slightly worrying thing in all of this is that he does seem to get quite animated and shout a lot when he’s driving around so I wonder whether he’s going to inherit my road rage – one of the very many reasons I have never learned to drive myself. So while Dylan’s driving is, for now at least, constricted to the kitchen I think I’ll keep mine limited to GTA and Mario Kart. That said, Yoshi is a little sh…