New kid on the box

Dylan seems to have become mesmerised by the telly lately; it’s not that surprising really – he’s been taking an interest in everything around him for a while and it attracts the eye and makes a lot of noise. While we’ve tried not to plonk him down in front of it to pacify him when all else fails, it’s tricky not to as it’s so effective.

He’s suitably subdued by things specifically made for babies – including most stuff on BabyTV and insane masterpieces like In the Night Garden, which I find intriguing and disturbing in equal measure – but there are some more surprising broadcasts that prompt a fixed gaze and a series of fascinated-sounding gurgles. I’m pleased to report that laddo has shown the first signs of enjoying football – he hasn’t yet complained about the fare on the idiot box, although some of my team’s recent performances have given me a few reasons to whinge in his stead.

Similarly, he absolutely loves Sky Sports News, particularly Jeff Stelling and the Soccer Saturday team. He gets as animated as the show’s host does when Hartlepool have scored at times and responds well to Chris Kamara’s excitable reports too. I secretly harbour the hope that his first words will be “Unbelievable, Jeff!”

Inevitably, Sky comes with a plethora of adverts – I know, we’re making a monster here – but his reactions to some of them are worth his equally inevitable future campaigns for toys, sweets and access to gold-cashing services; the one for Bell’s whisky that features a cartoon dog playing bagpipes makes him go absolutely berserk. Marvellous!

He is also quite quickly mastering the standard behaviour of a bloke watching TV – he farts indiscriminately and, the other day, he tried to help himself to a slice of pizza from my plate while he was sat on my lap. That said, he observed the minute’s silence before the Stoke vs Liverpool game last weekend impeccably. It’s also a good sign that he seems to have realised the error of his ways in impersonating Jonny Wilkinson of late – the other day we were at Kate’s parents’ house and the rugby was on; Dylan’s response was a long, bored-sounding sigh. Good lad – I’m so proud!


  1. Lol

    Media-savvy laddo’s clearly got his eyes on the next available Screenburn slot … he’s sure to give Charlie Brooker a run for his grimace. However, as a recent convert to CBeebies and In the Night Garden, I’m dismayed by his seeming indifference to Upsydaisy and her inflating skirt – not to mention her bed, following her around the garden.
    Meanwhile, cracking Masthead, boys (said Upsydaisy)!

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