There’s this strange little window in the day that nobody really prepares you for. School’s done, shoes are off (somewhere in the house, but nobody knows exactly where), bags are dumped, and you’re staring down the barrel of four hours until bedtime.
On paper, that sounds like loads of time. In reality, it’s a weird mix of fast-forward and slow motion — they’re tired, you’re tired, but there’s still a whole evening to fill. And if you’ve got more than one child, they’ll probably want to do completely different things at completely opposite ends of the house. At the same time. While you try to cook dinner. And answer a work email. And remember whether they’ve actually done their reading.
So how do you handle that chaotic after-school stretch without losing the plot? Here’s how we try to navigate it — a mix of structure, family time, solo play, and, yes, a healthy dose of boredom.
After-School Clubs (But Not Every Night)
Let’s start with the obvious one. After-school clubs are brilliant. They give kids something to look forward to, let them burn off energy, and give you a bit of breathing space too. Whether it’s football, gymnastics, coding, drama, Lego club, or something obscure that requires special shoes and eats into your Friday nights — it’s all part of their development.
But here’s the thing: they don’t need to be out at a club every single night.
There’s a fine line between a healthy schedule and an over-scheduled child. And, by extension, an over-scheduled parent. If you’re spending every evening ferrying them to different activities, wolfing down dinners in the car, and getting home just in time to argue about bedtime, it stops being fun pretty quickly.
We’ve found that two clubs a week is the sweet spot. It gives them something to get excited about, but still leaves space for winding down and actual family time. Plus, let’s face it — those clubs aren’t always cheap. Especially when you’ve got more than one child and they all fancy trying fencing this term.
Low-Key Family Time
When you’ve got a bit of space between school and sleep, it’s nice to actually spend some of it together. But this doesn’t mean you need to break out a Pinterest-worthy craft project or start teaching them Mandarin while you chop onions.
Family time can be simple and low-key. A walk round the block, a bit of garden football, helping to make tea, or watching an episode of something together — it all counts. You don’t have to be “on” the whole time. Sometimes just being in the same room, sharing the same space, is enough.
Some of our best conversations happen while peeling carrots or loading the dishwasher. There’s something about doing stuff with your hands that gets kids talking. Ask them directly about their day and you’ll get “fine”. Give them a potato to scrub and suddenly you’re hearing about playground politics in forensic detail.
If they’re bouncing off the walls, sometimes I’ll suggest a quick runaround in the park before tea. If we’re all wiped, we’ll just pile on the sofa and rewatch an old favourite. There’s no right answer — just do what works for your family that day.
Let Them Be Bored
This one’s important. And weirdly controversial.
It’s okay — more than okay — for kids to be bored sometimes.
We live in a world that’s full of stimulation. Screens, apps, clubs, learning opportunities, educational YouTube channels, mindfulness for six-year-olds… it’s endless. But there’s a lot to be said for just letting kids stare into the middle distance for a bit.
Boredom is where creativity lives. It’s the gap where imagination kicks in. Given enough time and nothing to do, most kids will eventually come up with something — a game, a drawing, a den made out of sofa cushions and a baffling number of pegs.
They don’t need you to be their cruise director every evening. And you’re allowed to say, “You’ll have to amuse yourself for a bit.” That’s not lazy — it’s healthy. They’ll thank you for it one day. Probably.
Independent Play (aka Sanity Time)
Right, let’s talk about the holy grail: the time when they’re happily occupied without needing you every 90 seconds. This doesn’t always happen, but when it does, it’s glorious.
I try to encourage our lot to get stuck into something solo at some point during the evening — not just because I need to get things done, but because it’s good for them too. Reading, drawing, Lego, sticker books, building weird contraptions out of Blu Tack and pipe cleaners… anything that holds their attention for a while is worth its weight in gold.
Of course, sometimes this takes a bit of prompting. I’ll often say something like, “Why don’t you play with X while I finish this job, then we’ll do Y after?” — it sets a clear expectation and makes the time feel fair.
It’s also worth noting that not everything needs to be super wholesome. If they want to flop with a bit of telly or a tablet for half an hour, fine. Especially after a long day at school. It’s not going to melt their brain if it’s balanced with other stuff.
Don’t Forget the Basics
It’s easy to get caught up in the “what shall we do?” spiral and forget that some of that evening time is already spoken for. Kids don’t just need entertaining — they need feeding, cleaning, and getting ready to do it all again tomorrow.
Dinner takes a chunk of time. So does bath or shower. There’s the general faff of getting bags ready, finding lost water bottles, dealing with the random bits of paper they bring home (“I think this is a permission slip?”), and wrestling them into pyjamas.
All of that is part of the evening routine. It counts. You don’t need to layer on extra activities to make the time feel productive. If they’ve eaten something vaguely nutritious, brushed most of their teeth, and are in bed at a sensible time, you’ve nailed it.
You’ve Got Stuff to Do Too
Let’s not forget: this isn’t just their evening. It’s yours too. And chances are, you’ve got a to-do list longer than your arm.
Whether you’re working from home, catching up on house stuff, sorting laundry, or just trying to grab ten minutes with a cup of tea and your phone, you’re not just a background character in their evening — you’re a human with things to do.
That’s okay. That’s normal.
It’s not selfish to say, “I’m busy right now.” It’s just life. Kids need to see that grown-ups do boring stuff sometimes too. In fact, it’s how they learn to get on with their own things.
Four hours can feel like a long time — especially when everyone’s tired, hungry, and running on low battery. But it doesn’t have to be filled with Pinterest activities or parental perfection.
Some evenings you’ll be in the park until tea. Some you’ll play a board game. Some you’ll all slump in front of the telly eating fish fingers. And some will be a weird mixture of shouting, laughter, and stepping on plastic toys in your socks.
That’s family life. It’s messy and brilliant and exhausting in equal measure.
So don’t put pressure on yourself to make every evening magical. If your kids are safe, fed, and feel loved, you’re doing more than enough.
And if they’re bored now and then? Good. That’s where the best ideas start.
