My Partner is Having a C-Section: How Can I Support Her Afterwards?

Support partner after c-section

When my wife underwent a caesarean section for our second child, I quickly realised that my role in her recovery was going to be more important than I first though.

The experience taught me invaluable lessons about supporting a partner through this major surgery.

If you’re about to go through the same thing, I hope my insights can help you. I won’t sugar coat it, this will be a difficult time, but it’s also incredibly rewarding and will bring you closer together.

Ready? I wasn’t!

C-Section Recovery Process

The first step in supporting your partner is to understand what she’s going through. A caesarean section is major abdominal surgery, and recovery can take up to six weeks or more. In my experience, the initial days were by far the most challenging.

The First 24 Hours

During this period, my wife needed help with almost everything. She was groggy from the anaesthesia and in considerable pain. I found myself:

  • Assisting her to sit up or lie down
  • Helping her to the loo
  • Passing her the baby for feeds
  • Changing nappies
  • Ensuring she stayed hydrated

It’s intense, but remember, your presence alone is comforting. Just being there, holding her hand, and offering words of encouragement can make a world of difference.

The Hospital Stay

Depending on your circumstances, you might be in the hospital for a few days. During this time, I focused on:

  • Learning from the midwives about wound care
  • Understanding her medication schedule
  • Mastering the art of swaddling and nappy changing
  • Ensuring she got enough rest between feeds

Don’t be afraid to ask the medical staff questions. They’re there to help, and the more you know, the better prepared you’ll be for home.

Preparing for the Journey Home

Before leaving the hospital, I made sure our home was ready:

  • I set up a comfortable recovery area in our living room with pillows and blankets
  • I placed essential items within easy reach: phone charger, water bottle, snacks
  • I installed a temporary changing station downstairs to minimise her movement

The Car Journey

The ride home requires some thought:

  • I brought a pillow for her to hold against her wound during the journey
  • We took it slow, avoiding bumps and sudden stops

Remember, what seems like a minor jolt to you might be quite painful for her. If other drivers get annoyed, let them. They will just have to wait.

The First Week at Home

Resting at Home

This week was all about establishing a routine and ensuring my wife’s comfort.

Rest is crucial for recovery but also difficult with a newborn. To help, I took charge of:

  • Fielding phone calls and limiting visitors
  • Keeping the house quiet during her nap times
  • Taking our older child out for activities to give her peace

Meal planning and preparation took up a lot of my brain space too. I knew that nutrition is vital for healing and milk production, so I:

  • Stocked up on easy-to-eat, nutritious foods
  • Prepared meals in advance
  • Ensured she always had a full water bottle nearby

I also set reminders for her pain medication and kept track of her dosages. It’s easy to forget when you’re sleep-deprived, so having a system helps. Use the alarm on your phone.

Emotional Support in the Early Days

The emotional aspect of recovery is just as important as the physical. The hormones having just given birth, the change in her body, the constant pain and discomfort – she’s going through a lot.

My partner experienced a range of emotions after the C-section. I tried my best to:

  • Listen without judgement
  • Validate her feelings
  • Reassure her about her strength and capabilities

I also wanted her to realise the progress she was making, so I pointed out the day to day improvements. Every day brought new achievements, no matter how small. Recognising these helped boost her morale:

  • The first time she walked to the kitchen unaided
  • Successfully breastfeeding without assistance
  • Taking her first shower post-surgery

Acknowledging these made a big difference to her mood and motivation because she recognised that she was moving ever closer to independence.

Practical Support in Daily Activities

Dad changing nappy

As the days passed my role changed, and quite quickly, but it remained crucial.

I took on as much baby care as possible:

  • Changing nappies
  • Bathing the baby
  • Bringing the baby to her for feeds

This allowed her to focus on recovery and bonding with our newborn.

I became the temporary household manager too. You’re going to have to do everything, even after she’s up and moving again. At least for a while;

  • Doing laundry (there’s a lot with a newborn!)
  • Keeping the house tidy
  • Grocery shopping and running errands

Don’t be afraid to accept help from family and friends during this time, ask for it if you need it. You might also want to put some funds aside to make you life easier if you can afford to. Get your food shop delivered, book a cleaner for the short term, pay for extra child care for older siblings, that sort of thing.

Encouraging Gentle Movement

While rest is important, some movement aids recovery. We had a few battles over this to be honest, but I was only doing what the doctors told me to do! She felt like it was pressure so maybe I went about it the wrong way, but nevertheless, gentle movement is important.

I encouraged my wife to:

  • Take short walks around the house once she was able
  • Do gentle stretches as advised by her doctor
  • Practice deep breathing exercises

Always consult with her healthcare provider before starting any exercise routine, but they should be giving you this advice anyway.

Nighttime Support

Nights can be particularly challenging after a C-section. We found it easier for me to do everything initially. So I brought the baby to her for night feeds, changed nappies during night wakings, and settled the baby back to sleep when possible.

This allowed her to stay in bed and minimise movement.

I also made sure she had:

  • Extra pillows for support
  • A side table with essentials like water and pain relief
  • A dimmer night light for feeds

I could often get 15/20 minutes sleep while she was feeding before she woke me to settle the baby back in her basket.

Managing Visitors and Social Interactions

While support from loved ones is wonderful, it can be unwelcome in the first few weeks. She might feel vulnerable, too tired to engage, or even smelly and like she doesn’t want to be seen.

You have to set boundaries, and like everything else, this will fall to you.

I took charge of:

  • Limiting visitor numbers and duration
  • Ensuring visitors were helpful rather than demanding
  • Politely turning away unexpected guests

That last one only happened once. Who turns up to see a new-born unannounced!?

We didn’t allow anyone in for the first few days, but when we did have visitors I acted as a buffer, managing conversations. We also had a signal so she could indicate if she wanted people to leave, then it was down to me to find a way to make that happen without upsetting anyone!

It helped that I managed expectations before anyone turned up. For example I would say to someone they would be more than welcome to pop round for half an hour. So they knew it would be a short visit. With those closest to me, I even asked if they would mind helping around the house, and they were all fantastic.

Intimacy and Relationship Care

Intimacy

The postpartum period can be challenging for your relationship. Some couples are very tactile and spend more time ‘in the bedroom together’ than others.

It hopefully goes without saying that you can forget about that for a couple of months! It is important to maintain your relationship though.

We talked a lot about how we were feeling, what we felt we needed, what we were looking forward to when she was healed, etc. We also found that physical intimacy was still important, even if a cuddle, a massage, or holding hands was all that was comfortable. I stroked her head a lot which she found relaxing and helped maintain a physical connection.

Remember, intimacy isn’t just about sex. It’s about connection and support.

Supporting your partner after a C-section is a significant responsibility, but it’s also an opportunity to strengthen your bond as a couple and as new parents. Be patient, be present, and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Your partner will appreciate your efforts more than you know, and you’ll look back on this time as a period of growth and deep connection in your relationship.