Dumb and Dumber

 

The Dumb and Dumber poster with the actors' faces replaced by two boys.

I’ve always thought of all of my kids as pretty bright but recent events have got me wondering whether I’ve been wearing rose-tinted glasses and that two of them may in fact be a Dumb and Dumber tribute act.

As Amelie is just short of six months old I’m excluding her – even though she does still puke in her own ear on occasion, which is a rather daft thing to do. Dylan and Xander, however, are old enough to know better so here are the brainiac moments that have caused my doubts…

It started last week when Dylan came home from school looking rather sheepish. His cap was conspicuous by its absence as it was one of those rare sunny spring days. “Where’s your hat, Dylan?” I asked him. He mumbled a reply that I didn’t quite catch. It turns out that he literally hadn’t quite caught his headgear. At playtime, he thought it would be a good idea to repeatedly throw it in the air. Until it didn’t come down again.

Somehow or other, he had managed to land it on top of the roof of the shaded area where he and his friends have their lunch on said sunny spring days. Thankfully, we got it back eventually – but not before we’d spent ages looking in the dense foliage of the path immediately behind the school at the weekend and inconvenienced three members of staff. Genius!

Not to be outdone by his big brother, Xander had his own Dumb and Dumber moment yesterday. Now that Amelie can just about sit up without slumping forwards, we’ve assembled her highchair and introduced it to the dining room. As all parents know, children love a new thing that isn’t theirs and so it once again proved…

Kate, Amelie and I were upstairs when we heard a sudden, panicked yell. Naturally, we hurried down to see what was wrong. Xander’s head was stuck between the base and seat of the highchair. He was fine. Just stuck. Trying not to laugh was pointless, so we enjoyed a hearty chuckle before liberating him. Kate grabbed an Allen key while I snapped a quick photo and we soon had him out.

A young boy with his head trapped in a high chair. He was fine. You may laugh.

Like Dylan with his cap, he couldn’t explain why he had done it, but I have to admit that it was a novel twist on the traditional saucepan. He doesn’t do things by halves.

These may, of course, be minor hiccups on an otherwise enlightened journey into Mensa membership but I’m not taking any chances… I won’t be getting them a pet parakeet, allowing them to buy suits or leaving my burger unattended in their presence in a hurry…

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