I’ve caught myself doing some slightly odd things recently and they’re things I’ve never done before now. Of course, we all change as we get older and start falling apart, but these new foibles of mine all seem to be related to two particular facts. The first is that I have children and the second is that I blog about them.
A pretty bespoke situation, I’m sure you’ll agree, but I’m sure I wouldn’t have developed most of these strange habits if I were ‘just a parent’ or ‘just a blogger’. There seems to be a high degree of mutual exclusivity acting as a common denominator. That said, with thousands of parent bloggers in the UK and thousands more all over the world, I can’t be the only one these statements relate to. So, as there’s a rather large gathering of them taking place at the end of the week, I thought I’d share what I think are the tell tale signs that you have become a parent blogger.
You know you’re a parent blogger when…
Your child gets involved in a situation of mild peril and your first thought is “Oooh, that’ll make a funny post!”
Your child gets involved in another situation of mild peril and, when you’re not fast enough with the camera, you get them to recreate the moment.
Your child does something they shouldn’t, but you pause to take a photo of the resultant carnage they have caused before attempting to point out the error of their ways.
You regularly receive emails from PR folk citing you as an authority on parenting when, basically, you’re just winging it and have been since day one.
At certain times of year, you sign for several parcels each week and have no idea what’s inside any of them.
The postal staff start to comment on how many parcels you get in a week and you feel compelled to tell them you’re a blogger, sound really pompous then just wish you’d just responded with “It’s okay, I’m a drug dealer.”
Due to hackers getting up to no good, you set up an email alert for when someone successfully logs in to your blog. And every single time you log in, you wonder what the email you just received is going to be about.
You agonise for more time than is healthy over what to write in the comments on other people’s blogs in case you sound like a complete numpty.
You obsess over what is the best pixel width for the pictures you post.
You keep tinkering with the order of all the badges and widgets on the side of your blog.
Once you get business cards, you treat them like confetti around anyone who shows the tiniest amount of interest in your hobby.
Your smartphone is full of pictures of the most random products.
If your child says or does something funny, you drop everything to tweet about it.
Or maybe all of this is just me and I’m actually just a bit odd? I really hope not! Fellow parent bloggers: what have I missed from this list of symptoms?