Jun 172014
 
A kitchen with a locked baby gate. The kitchen floor is covered in cushions thrown by a naughty toddler.

“The little shi… Ha! People will identify with this. I MUST blog now!”

I’ve caught myself doing some slightly odd things recently and they’re things I’ve never done before now. Of course, we all change as we get older and start falling apart, but these new foibles of mine all seem to be related to two particular facts. The first is that I have children and the second is that I blog about them.

A pretty bespoke situation, I’m sure you’ll agree, but I’m sure I wouldn’t have developed most of these strange habits if I were ‘just a parent’ or ‘just a blogger’. There seems to be a high degree of mutual exclusivity acting as a common denominator. That said, with thousands of parent bloggers in the UK and thousands more all over the world, I can’t be the only one these statements relate to. So, as there’s a rather large gathering of them taking place at the end of the week, I thought I’d share what I think are the tell tale signs that you have become a parent blogger.

You know you’re a parent blogger when…

Your child gets involved in a situation of mild peril and your first thought is “Oooh, that’ll make a funny post!”

Your child gets involved in another situation of mild peril and, when you’re not fast enough with the camera, you get them to recreate the moment.

Your child does something they shouldn’t, but you pause to take a photo of the resultant carnage they have caused before attempting to point out the error of their ways.

You regularly receive emails from PR folk citing you as an authority on parenting when, basically, you’re just winging it and have been since day one.

At certain times of year, you sign for several parcels each week and have no idea what’s inside any of them.

The postal staff start to comment on how many parcels you get in a week and you feel compelled to tell them you’re a blogger, sound really pompous then just wish you’d just responded with “It’s okay, I’m a drug dealer.”

Due to hackers getting up to no good, you set up an email alert for when someone successfully logs in to your blog. And every single time you log in, you wonder what the email you just received is going to be about.

You agonise for more time than is healthy over what to write in the comments on other people’s blogs in case you sound like a complete numpty.

You obsess over what is the best pixel width for the pictures you post.

You keep tinkering with the order of all the badges and widgets on the side of your blog.

Once you get business cards, you treat them like confetti around anyone who shows the tiniest amount of interest in your hobby.

Your smartphone is full of pictures of the most random products.

If your child says or does something funny, you drop everything to tweet about it.

Or maybe all of this is just me and I’m actually just a bit odd? I really hope not! Fellow parent bloggers: what have I missed from this list of symptoms?

 Posted by at 4:33 pm

  25 Responses to “You know you’re a parent blogger when…”

  1. Yes to all of these! I’ve got another one….

    When something happens to a friend of yours and the first thing they say is “You’re not to blog about this”. And you look offended and say “Of course I wouldn’t” and hope they won’t notice your smartphone in your hand because you were going to take a photo for Intsagram.
    Joanne Mallon (@joannemallon) recently posted…A parent’s guide to The Fault in Our StarsMy Profile

  2. For me it’s not letting the children eat dinner until I get at least 10 photos of the food from different angles.

    I also set up google alerts for ‘skint dad’ and get disappointed when it’s not me that’s being talked about ;-)
    Ricky Willis recently posted…A Spiralling Household BudgetMy Profile

  3. Aaah I have much to learn :)
    I would add ‘I wonder which of my mates is going to read this and hate me for it’

  4. 650.
    TheBoyandMe recently posted…E is for… (The Big Reveal)My Profile

  5. Ha ha! So funny. I’m always thinking of the blog now and have a camera at the ready! Brilliant ;) very true x

    • You’re better prepared than me – I’m forever making my kids relive moments of stupidity for blog posts!

  6. Haha this is awesome, and so very true! I have to admit i do many of those things =D
    Katie recently posted…Silent SundayMy Profile

  7. Yep! I can totally relate. It’s amazing how a fairly small situation can be built up into a brilliant or hilarious blogpost (well, that’s how I hope it’s going to turn out anyway). I take pics of all sorts of crap, then my daughter scrolls through my phone and wonders why they’re there. She knows they’re for the blog, but seen out of context, they just look embarrassing. Must delete more regularly.
    I am queen of the ‘tweet something funny/ irritating your kid has just done/ said’. There will usually be a stream of them around tea time, causing me to burn the kids’ tea most days.
    What about ‘read blogpost on toilet, then have to remain on toilet while commenting on said post’? Or is that just me?
    Sarah MumofThree World recently posted…The Gallery: Breathe (June)My Profile

    • Ah, reading blog posts on the throne! Yes, I do that too. And what is it about the hour before tea time? That’s exactly when my two act up!

  8. Sad but very, very true. For some odd reason, my husband’s iphone also gets every single photo that I take. He is pretty sick of pictures of random objects and…..my feet. Yes, it would seem that I take an inordinate amount of photos of my feet. Is it a fetish?! I could relate to pretty much every one of these, very funny. Our poor kids eh?!
    suzanne3childrenandit recently posted…Big Brother is Watching YouMy Profile

    • Thanks Suzanne! Yes, I think our kids (and spouses, for that matter) are going to need a whole lot of therapy one of these days!

  9. lol so true – I had to take a step back after No3 was born in Feb as it was all becoming a but too much to the point where I was running for my camera rather than a cloth to take a photo of the failed potty attempt log on our living room carpet….hang on that was last week ;-)
    Tom @Ideas4Dads recently posted…‘My Alternative Top 10 Tips For Surviving #BritMumsLive As A Bloke’My Profile

    • Cheers Tom. Yes, you know you’re in deep with this whole blogging lark when photos come before cleaning up faecal matter from the floor! ;-)

  10. Well as a new comer to blogging I will use this as a guide of how to be!

    • Welcome to the wonderful world of blogging! It’s a nice and friendly, if slightly strange, place. ;-)

  11. Brilliant!

    The wife is getting very annoyed with me revealing all her pregnancy habits. She’s not looking forward to the birth: I’ll be saying, hang on, hold on a sec, stop pushing, I’m just writing a post / taking a pic.

    They must love us!
    Al recently posted…NCT : Session 5My Profile

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